At a high school show, I used the drama students as my stagehands and assistants. We practiced the day before the show and also the day of the show. When the show started, it seemed as if everybody had forgotten what to do. I was in front of the curtain doing my opening number. After that, the curtain was supposed to open to perform one of the big illusions. However, the curtain did not open, the music started, but still no curtain, I said, “This would be a good time for the curtain to open!” Then it opened. After we were done performing the routine, the curtain should have closed, but it didn’t, so I said, “This is a good time for the curtain to close!” Finally it did. Now I am back in from of the curtain waiting for my assitant to bring me the next trick, nobody came out so I had to say to the, “This would be a good time to bring out the next trick!” After a few seconds delay, she brought out the trick. The next number was another big illusion that was to be set up behind the curtain, this time the curtain opened on cue, but the illusion wasn’t there! Once again, I had to say, “This would be a good time to bring out the Illusion!” These mis-cues happened all during the show. After the show, some friends asked when I changed my show with all the jokes about everything going wrong. I told them everything WAS going wrong, but they said I made it funny by having to ask for every trick and that I should keep doing it that way.

Note to self: never again!

“There is one thing I can say that no other President can: I was the only President between two Bushes!”